Another reason to write

I start 2019 with the worst news . One of my aunt that sick . She's diagnosed with cancer . Truth to be told I don't have enough courage at all when I visited her at the hospital . She's so nice and happy go lucky person . When I came to her house , she will greet us with so much happiness but now I can't hear her voices anymore . She can't talk anymore . Among the other aunt , most of my siblings closed with her . Since I was a kid , my mom will leave me under her care especially when she go for outstation . When , my father passed away I stay with her .

Then , before the   february end my another aunt passed away and I can't go back for the funeral as I have strict classes . My mom and my sister also don't allowed me to go back . I know that she's sick but I never thought that it was that serious . She's the aunt that never raise her voice to me and treat me so nice . Why everyone that nice with me is leaving me?

Today ,I got the news from my sister that my aunt that sick is in critical condition . Oh god , I immediately cried . I don't want to lose anyone again . I can't bear the pain of losing someone . If someone is leaving but still alive , I might can move on with this . But , if someone leaving me like my dad did .... how I want to move on . I never move on from my dad till now .